Real estate and relationships — the two go hand in hand. And when it comes to winning a bidding war, I’m going to be honest: A LOT of it has to do with your agent, their likeability factor, and their ability to connect.

Did you know that women are better relationship builders? (See #7.) Now as a female realtor myself, I may be a little biased, but the Fotini Iconomopouloses of the world don’t lie. This leads to tip #1…

1. Seek out a real estate agent with a high EQ. Make sure your agent makes you feel comfortable and that you genuinely like their personality. (Because if you don’t get a good vibe, you can bet the seller is going to feel the same way.) And before settling on an agent, I recommend asking whether or not they present an offer in person — except, of course, in cases where the seller would prefer to communicate via email. Showing up can make or break your chances of winning a bidding war. Why? Because it’s easier to connect when you’re face to face.

2. Plan for a power imbalance. Unfortunately, as a buyer, the power is not in your hands. Think about it: At any given showing, there’s only one house up for sale and numerous offers coming in. So make sure you’re ready to commit before the other guy (or gal) by getting your finances in order and doing the home inspection ahead of time, for example. Also, try to be flexible and accommodating when it comes to the seller’s closing date.

3. Write a (love?) letter. This may sound silly, but remember, people become attached to their homes. If they feel a connection with you — because they learn you grew up just down the road, that your child’s dance school is in the neighborhood, or that your fiance popped the question in the nearby park — they may be more inclined to go with your offer. Even if it’s not the highest one. (Note that this probably won’t make a difference if we’re talking a difference in the thousands. But hundreds? Absolutely.)

4. Come with a big, fat cheque or bank draft. From my own experience, this one is huge. When I bought my condo, my real estate agent told me to come with the expected 5% deposit. I thought twice, and decided to double it. When all the other interested buyers were handing over identical offers of — you guessed it — 5%, mine stood out and won me the house. (Just remember: By paying more up front, you’re not paying any extra in the long run.)

5. Be okay to overpay. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that super awesome listing price? Often, it’s nothing more than a dangling carrot. To be sure, check what price other homes in the area have sold for. If the house you’ve got your eye on seems unbelievably underpriced, that’s probably because it is. Make sure you’re mentally prepared for the very real possibility that the cost of the home will go up — significantly. If a higher price range is not within your budget, it’s time to move on.

While I can’t guarantee that you’ll win every single bidding war, these tips should help you avoid one too many broken hearts while you seek out the home of your dreams.

Here’s to your happily ever after!